My Journey Toward Forgiveness

Below you will find the notes from my recent series called "My Journey toward Forgiveness'.
I feel like I need to issue a bit of a disclaimer. These notes were never really designed to be read. They are my preaching notes, and I don't put much detail into my notes. Some people write out their notes word for word, but I am really more of a headlines guy. I rarely give my notes out because they are really just designed to be a guide to keep me on track during a message. But, I had several people ask me for these notes, so here you go. I think the most important thing is that you can go back over the scripture that I used after hearing the message. My prayer is that we will all pray the prayer found in Psalms 139:23-24, and invite God to lead us on His jounrey for us. If you haven't heard the message, these notes may not mean much to you, so I recommend that you go to http://www.getlife.info/ and listen to the series.

I have also put the list of books that I mention at the bottom of these notes.


My Journey toward Forgiveness #1

- In September I went on a Men’s event called a “Quest”…

- During this “Quest” I prayed a Dangerous Prayer…

Ps 139:23-24 NLT
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 Point out anything in me that offends you,
and lead me along the path of everlasting life.

- God answered my prayer by shining His spotlight on a relationship that I have avoided for years…
= My Relationship w/ my Dad…
= There were several issues from my childhood…

- The Lord brought up what I now call my 35 year Grudge…
= At 5 yrs old I watched my dad beat my mom…

- I Forgave my Dad 23 years ago…
…but never personally told him, and I realized that I still had bitterness in my heart toward him…

Matt 18:21-35 NLT
21 Then Peter came to him and asked, "Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?" 22 "No!" Jesus replied, "seventy times seven! 23 "For this reason, the Kingdom of Heaven can be compared to a king who decided to bring his accounts up to date with servants who had borrowed money from him. 24 In the process, one of his debtors was brought in who owed him millions of dollars. 25 He couldn't pay, so the king ordered that he, his wife, his children, and everything he had be sold to pay the debt. 26 But the man fell down before the king and begged him, 'Oh, sir, be patient with me, and I will pay it all.' 27 Then the king was filled with pity for him, and he released him and forgave his debt. 28 "But when the man left the king, he went to a fellow servant who owed him a few thousand dollars. He grabbed him by the throat and demanded instant payment. 29 His fellow servant fell down before him and begged for a little more time. 'Be patient and I will pay it,' he pleaded. 30 But his creditor wouldn't wait. He had the man arrested and jailed until the debt could be paid in full. 31 "When some of the other servants saw this, they were very upset. They went to the king and told him what had happened. 32 Then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said, 'You evil servant! I forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me. 33 Shouldn't you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?' 34 Then the angry king sent the man to prison until he had paid every penny. 35 "That's what my heavenly Father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters in your heart."

- God really doesn’t give us an option about forgiveness...

Matt 6:14-15 NKJV
14 "For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 "But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

= There is an amazing freedom that comes when we receive forgiveness, and when we give forgiveness to others!
= It’s a Cycle of Freedom!

“Forgiveness is not natural!”
“Forgiveness is super-natural!”

3 Important Truths I’ve learned about Forgiveness:

1. Forgiveness is Releasing People into God’s hands

Rom 12:18-19 NKJV
18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord.

2. Forgiveness is a 2-Way Street

Matt 5:23-24
23 "So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, 24 leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God.

3. Forgiveness is NOT a feeling... It’s a choice.

Col 3:12-13 NLT
12 Since God chose you to be the holy people whom he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.13 You must make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. 14 And the most important piece of clothing you must wear is love. Love is what binds us all together in perfect harmony.

“Forgiveness doesn’t change the past,
but it does enlarge the future."

During my Quest Father God gave me Clear Instructions:

- Repent for allowing unforgiveness back into my heart
- Make a list of all my major offenses toward my dad
- Release my dad into God’s hands
- Begin to Pray for my dad every day
- Go Share my Offenses with my Dad & Forgive him
- Wash his Feet & Pray for him

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My Journey toward Forgiveness #2

3 Things that happen if we “Refuse to Forgive”:

1. We become Chained to the Offense & Offender...

.... Chains

- We end up taking the pain of that offense everywhere we go...
- Sometimes people actually begin to like their chains.
- Often our chains from the past actually become a part of our identity.

2. We Invite the Devil into our Lives...

.... Welcome Sign

1 Peter 5:8 NLT
Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.

= When we Refuse to Forgive, we invite him in!

Eph 4:26-27 NLT
26 And "don't sin by letting anger control you." Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 for anger gives a foothold to the devil.

“Foothold” NT:5117
a spot, occupancy; location (as a position, home, tract, etc.);
an opportunity; a sheath, license, a place, a room.

= Because of bitterness people will develop all kinds of destructive lifestyle.

3. We Drink the Deadly Poison of Bitterness...

....Poison

Acts 8:23 NKJV
For I see that you are poisoned by bitterness and bound by iniquity."

...Holding on to bitterness and thinking that it hurts our offender is like drinking poison hoping that the other person dies…

"When we forgive, we set the captives free
- only to realize that we were the captives."
~ Dr. Neil T. Anderson


How do we walk out Forgiveness?
= Pray & Prepare

3 simple steps that I learned from Pastor Jimmy Evans in his “Freedom from your Past”…

Steps Toward to True Forgiveness:

A. Repent

= Why would I need to “Repent”?

James 4:17 NLT
Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it.

Col 3:13 NLT
You must make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.

B. Release

- Forgiveness really takes root in our hearts when we release the offender into God’s hands…

Rom 12:21 NLT
Don't let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.

C. Bless

Luke 6:27-28 NKJV
27 "But I say to you who hear: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you.

Luke 6:31 NKJV
And just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise.

...Jenny who forgave her uncles who had sexually abused her…
= She began to pray for their salvation!

Jesus is our shining example for this kind of forgiveness…

Luke 23:33-34 NLT
33 When they came to the place called the Skull, there they crucified him, along with the criminals—one on his right, the other on his left.
34 Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." And they divided up his clothes by casting lots.


Ps 139:23-24 NLT
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 Point out anything in me that offends you,
and lead me along the path of everlasting life.

Will you pray this prayer?


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During my Journey Toward Forgiveness, I’ve read several good books…

= Recommended Books:

- “Get the Junk out of your Trunk” – Duane Vander Klok

- “Victory over the Darkness” – Neil Anderson

- “Life’s Healing Choices” – John Baker

- “The Key to Everything” – Jack Hayford

- “Freedom from your Past’ – Jimmy Evans

- “Spiritual Slavery to Spiritual Sonship” – Jack Frost

- “Total Forgiveness” – R.T. Kendall

Dancing With God

I recently read the following on a friend's blog. I thought it was too good to keep to myself.

Dancing With God
When I meditated on the word Guidance,
I kept seeing "dance" at the end of the word.
I remember reading that doing God's will is a lot like dancing.
When two people try to lead, nothing feels right.
The movement doesn't flow with the music,
and everything is quite uncomfortable and jerky.
When one person realizes that, and lets the other lead,
both bodies begin to flow with the music.
One gives gentle cues, perhaps with a nudge to the back
or by pressing Lightly in one direction or another.
It's as if two become one body, moving beautifully.
The dance takes surrender, willingness,
and attentiveness from one person
and gentle guidance and skill from the other.
My eyes drew back to the word Guidance.
When I saw "G": I thought of God, followed by "u" and "i".
"God, "u" and "i" dance."
God, you, and I dance.
As I lowered my head, I became willing to trust
that I would get guidance about my life.
Once again, I became willing to let God lead.
My prayer for you today is that God's blessings
and mercies are upon you on this day and everyday.
May you abide in God, as God abides in you.
Dance together with God, trusting God to lead
and to guide you through each season of your life.
This prayer is powerful and there is nothing attached.
If God has done anything for you in your life,
please share this message with someone else.
There is no cost but a lot of rewards;
so let's continue to pray for one another.
And I Pray We All Dance Today
~ Author unknown

"It Pleases God to make us Strong"

Happy are those who hear the joyful call to worship,
for they will walk in the light of your presence, Lord.
They rejoice all day long in your wonderful reputation.
They exult in your righteousness.
You are their glorious strength.
It pleases you to make us strong.
Ps 89:15-17

I read this today as I prepare to walk in obedience in a way that will be very uncomfortable for me. God has challenged me to step out in faith in a way that scares me. It's easy to obey God when it doesn't take us out of our comfort zone, but that is not how battles are won. The real battles of life take courage, humility, and God's strength. I love this truth that God finds pleasure in making me strong! Bring on the strength Father!!!

I will share more about this step of obedience soon...

Here are a few more verses that I am praying through as I get ready to move in obedience:

2 Cor 12:9-10
9 Each time he said, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.

Josh 1:6-9NKJV
6 Be strong and of good courage, for to this people you shall divide as an inheritance the land which I swore to their fathers to give them. 7 Only be strong and very courageous, that you may observe to do according to all the law which Moses My servant commanded you; do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may prosper wherever you go. 8 This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. 9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."

I like Jesus...

I was thinking recently about how much I like Jesus. I know it may seem a little plain, simple, or even shallow to simply say “I like Jesus”. I mean there are so many other words that could and should be used to describe my affection for my savior. Statements like I love Jesus, I worship Jesus, I serve Jesus, and I honor Jesus, all seem to have more power than a simple “I like Jesus”. While these are all true, and I am typically known for making several consecutive statements that need an explanation point at the end, and potentially overstating my point, I am also cool with a simple “I like Jesus”. Now, before you get all super-spiritual on me, just track with me here for a few minutes.

Let’s look at the difference between Like & Love. Remember when you were a kid and you had crush on someone. There seemed to be this natural progression that went from “like” to “love”. I even remember having a girl who had a crush on me send her friend across the playground to ask me if I “loved” her friend or if I simply ‘liked” her. Although it seems silly now, at the time my answer carried a lot of weight. I mean this girl whose name I can’t even remember today, was asking me to “define the relationship”. Like and Love were obviously two very different things to this 5th grade girl. “Like” was one thing, but she wanted me to take it to another level with the power word “Love”! Following this line of thinking it would surely be more appropriate to say that “I love Jesus”, than to say that I simply “like” Him. Again, for the record, I do “love Jesus”, but I like Jesus just as much. Now that we are grown, and childhood crushes are distant memories, let’s revisit this ‘Love” & “Like” thing.

Here is my thought process now. The Bible says that I am to love my enemies, but it doesn’t say that I need to “Like” them. Love is a moral imperative. It has biblical implications, and is part of the Greatest Commandment. We are to love the Lord our God with everything we have, and we are to love our neighbor as much as we love ourselves. Now, before I veer off into a message on love, let me get back to my point here. While I am commanded to even love my enemies, there is no command given regarding the word “Like”. While I must love my enemy, I certainly don’t have to “like” them. Do you see my point? While I certainly love Jesus, I also really “Like” Jesus. “Like’ is a personal preference, and for that reason I think that makes “I like Jesus” powerful on a whole other level.

A few years ago Mary and I started making this distinction in our affection for each other. We’ve been married since 1988 and we certainly love each other very much. Truth be told, we are passionate about each other! Not a day goes by that we don’t call each other multiple times throughout the day or text little coded messages to each other. It was in the midst of this daily flirtation that we began to use this word “Like”. The funny thing was that we used it to sort of take the word “Love” to another level. It went kind of like this… “I not only “Love” you, but I really “Like” you to!” There was fire in those statements, and the power of "personal preference". Okay, that is enough about my romantic life… :-) "Personal Preference" is what I am really talking about. I personally prefer Jesus! When I look at the way Jesus valued people it amazes me! From the little children, to the blind man, from the woman at the well, to the woman caught in adultery, from Nicodemus to Zacchaeus, Jesus revealed the love of the Father to people. When He confronted sin, He did it with such passion, strength, and purity that you can't help but see His love for people in that as well! I really like Jesus! Jesus is the expression of God's heart for us. He is the demonstration of all consuming love. I love reading the Gospels and just trying learn from Him, to try to pick up His attributes, and maybe even begin to see with His eyes. As has been stated by authors, preachers, and the bands...Jesus showed us "a new to be human", and I want to become that kind of human. Yes, I love Jesus, but I also really like Jesus.

The American Creed

I recently read an article by Chuck Colson that I think is worth sharing. It's called 'The American Creed"

‘We Hold These Truths . . .’
July 3, 2009
The great British intellectual G. K. Chesterton wrote that “America is the only nation in the world that is founded on [a] creed.”
Think about that for a moment. Other nations were founded on the basis of race, or by the power of kings or emperors who accumulated lands and the peasants who inhabited those lands.But America was—and is to this day—different. It was founded on a shared belief. Or, as Chesterton said, on a creed.And what is that creed that sets us apart? It is the eloquent, profound, and simple statement penned by Thomas Jefferson in the Declaration of Independence: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.”I’ll never forget when I graduated from Brown University during the Korean War. I couldn’t wait to become a Marine officer, to give my life if necessary, to defend that creed. To defend the idea that our rights come from God Himself and are not subject to whims of governments or tyrants. That humans ought to be free to pursue their most treasured hopes and aspirations. Perhaps some 230 years later, we take these words for granted. But in 1776, they were earth-shaking—indeed, revolutionary. Yet today, they are in danger of being forgotten altogether. According to Gallup, 66 percent of American adults have no idea that the words, “We hold these truths . . .” come from the Declaration of Independence. Even worse, only 45 percent of college seniors know that the unalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness are proclaimed in the Declaration.As America grows more and more diverse culturally, religiously, ethnically, it is critical that we re-embrace the American creed.America has always been a “melting pot.” But what is the pot that holds our multicultural stew together? Chesterton said the pot’s “original shape was traced on the lines of Jeffersonian democracy.” A democracy founded on those self-evident truths expressed in the Declaration of Independence. And as Chesterton remarked, “The pot must not melt.” Abraham Lincoln understood this so very well. For him, the notion that all men are created equal was “the electric cord in that Declaration that links the hearts of patriotic and liberty-loving men together, that will link those patriotic hearts as long as the love of freedom exists in the minds of men throughout the world.” So tomorrow, go to the Fourth of July parade. Go to the neighborhood barbecue and enjoy the hot dogs and apple pie. But here’s an idea for you. Why not take time out at the picnic to read the Declaration of Independence aloud with your friends and your neighbors. Listen—and thrill—to those words that bind us together as a nation of freedom-loving people: We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. These are the words Americans live for and, if necessary, die for. ~Chuck Colson

I recently read this devotional by Spurgeon....

"Great multitudes followed Him, and He healed them all."— Matthew 12:15

What a mass of hideous sickness must have thrust itself under the eye of Jesus! Yet we read not that He was disgusted, but patiently waited on every case. What a singular variety of evils must have met at His feet! What sickening ulcers and putrefying sores! Yet He was ready for every new shape of the monster evil, and was victor over it in every form. Let the arrow fly from what quarter it might, He quenched its fiery power. The heat of fever, or the cold of dropsy; the lethargy of palsy, or the rage of madness; the filth of leprosy, or the darkness of ophthalmia—all knew the power of His word, and fled at His command. In every corner of the field He was triumphant over evil, and received the homage of delivered captives. He came, He saw, He conquered everywhere. It is even so this morning. Whatever my own case may be, the beloved Physician can heal me; and whatever may be the state of others whom I may remember at this moment in prayer, I may have hope in Jesus that He will be able to heal them of their sins. My child, my friend, my dearest one, I can have hope for each, for all, when I remember the healing power of my Lord; and on my own account, however severe my struggle with sins and infirmities, I may yet be of good cheer. He who on earth walked the hospitals, still dispenses His grace, and works wonders among the sons of men: let me go to Him at once in right earnest.
Let me praise Him, this morning, as I remember how He wrought His spiritual cures, which bring Him most renown. It was by taking upon Himself our sicknesses. "By His stripes we are healed." The Church on earth is full of souls healed by our beloved Physician; and the inhabitants of heaven itself confess that "He healed them all." Come, then, my soul, publish abroad the virtue of His grace, and let it be "to the Lord for a name, for an everlasting sign which shall not be cut off."
- C. H. SPURGEON

Not such a Good Friday…

It started with the greatest of expectations, but one wrong turn changed all that. My 7 year old son was riding his bike a little too fast, tried to turn a little too sharp, and ended up with two broken bones in his right leg. I arrived home just a few minutes after the crash expecting to spend a few hours at home before heading back to church in preparation for our Good Friday activities at Life Church. Instead it was off to Olathe Medical Center, then to Children’s Mercy to see a specialist. We were there for several hours, and didn’t get home until about midnight. We spent Good Friday in the ER at Children’s Mercy.

It’s tough watching your kids suffer! I just wanted to make everything better. I wanted to take away his pain. I wanted to fix it! I’ve suffered a few broken bones in my day, and I know how it feels. I remember thinking, “I wish it was my leg that was broken rather than his.” That is when it hit me that it was Good Friday. The day we remember how God endured pain and death on our behalf. I didn’t have much time to reflect on it then as I had a job to do, “just be daddy”. Now that I’ve had some time to reflect on that night, I think I understand God’s love for us just a little bit more than I did before.

Levi’s leg is set and he is on the road to recovery, but I have a new insight into God’s “Father Heart” toward us.

Isa 53:4-6 NKJV
4 Surely He has borne our griefs
And carried our sorrows;
Yet we esteemed Him stricken,
Smitten by God, and afflicted.
5 But He was wounded for our transgressions,
He was bruised for our iniquities;
The chastisement for our peace was upon Him,
And by His stripes we are healed.
6 All we like sheep have gone astray;
We have turned, every one, to his own way;
And the Lord has laid on Him the iniquity of us all.